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March 31, 2013
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For RouteB!!! Happy Birthday!!!

BTW, this takes place in an alternate universe. Modern times. This is a very un-serious fic.

In the garden------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was just another peaceful day. Itachi Uchiha was walking around his garden, idly admiring it's beauty. It was a nice day, quiet and tranquil. Hopefully it would stay this wa-
"Weasle-Kun!" Pause that thought. This definitely would not be a peaceful day. Someone tackled him from the back, causing both of them to fly through the and he immediately knew it was you. So he quickly turned and took the brunt of the fall, which was actually very sweet. "Happy birthday~" The (h/c) haired girl sang, snuggling closer to him. Itachi smiled weakly.
"I appreciate the sentiment." He said, returning a short hug. "But I would appreciate it more if you didn't try to tackle me like a rugby ball every time we meet." You giggled.
"Whoopsie~" You got up and smiled genuinely. He stood up and brushed himself off. "Hey Weasle-Kun~" 
"Can you please not call me that?"
"No chance, Weasle-Kun~"" You sang. Itachi sighed. "Anyways, for your birthday, I hoped that we could take you to the zoo. You know, with Sasuke, your dad and your mom!" You said happily. "Oh yeah, if you want, Naruto and Sakura can come along! By the way, they're in the house right now, Sakura fangirling over Sasuke and Naruto annoying him."
"Strange, you seem to be able to do both of Sakura and Naruto's jobs on me." He mumbled. You pouted and playfully slapped him on the back of his head.
"I so do not." You declared. "But you'd better get in there before Sakura starts her fangirl-rage-thing on Sasuke. You know how aggresive it can get..." Itachi sighed, remembering how it was last time that happened...
"Yes, I'd better go in..." 

In the house~~~

"All right!" Naruto fist-pumped the air. "We get to go to the zoo'teyyabo!"
"Naruto!" Sakura yelled, smacking him. "What's more important is that you wish happy bithday to Sasuke-Kun's brother!"
Sasuke, who was normally quite warm and smiley around his family and you, scowled and muttered,
'Woah, guys!" You said, standing in between them before a fight would break out. "It's Itachi-Kun's birthday! Don't start a fight and destroy the house!" Naruto pouted and sat facing the wall, while Sasuke faced the other wall. "C'mon guys... Sasuke-Kun, do it for your brother!" You encouraged, trying to keep up the whole 'mature' cover. "And Naruto-Kun! It shouldn't be too hard... besides, I'm pretty sure that there's a ramen shop somewhere near the zoo... We can buy some and it'll be on me!" Naruto perked up.
"Alright, 'teyabo!" He shouted, causing everyone in the room to wince a little bit.
"If Sasuke-Kun is going, I am too!" Sakura said, smiling brightly. You grinned. Ah, she may be a little bit annoying with her whole 'Sasuke-Kun!' Thing but hey, you were all, 'ITACHI THE AWESOME WEASLE!' In front of your friends. In a way, you could relate to her.

In the Zoo~~~

You were strolling around the zoo. You guys had already seen the elephants, tigers, lions, pandas and so on. You guys had also just finished the aquarium. Somewhere around the shark area, there was a man who greeted Itachi who had blue hair. Apparently, his name was Kisame.
"Sakura-Chan!" Naruto yelled, causing some people to glare at him. He, however, took no notice. "Look! A fox! We have got to go and see this!" Sakura rolled her eyes.
"If Sasuke-Kun is going, then okay." You caught Sasuke's eye and motioned for him to go with them. He grunted but submitted, sidling over to the blonde. You giggled and called out to them,
"We'll be somewhere around here, so don't run off, 'kay?"
"Sure, (y/n)-Chan!" Naruto said cheerfully. You smiled.
"You seem to be quite popular with our son." Said Mikoto, Itachi's mom. You grinned ad nodded.
"Yeah. Y'know, personality wise, we're kinda similar. It's like we're siblings." You laughed. Then you caught sight of something, and you grinned. Mikoto saw what you were looking at and winked. Go for whatever you are planning. We'll take care of the others., she mouthed. Then she dragged her husband away to see monkeys of some sort.
"Hey, Itachi! Follow me!" You said, dragging him along. Well, at least tried to drag him. You were utterly failing. He sighed, and walked next to you. "Look! Weasels! WEASELS!" You emphasised. Itachi sent you a jokingly unamused expression, and you stuck your tongue out.
"Not funny."
"Oh, you know it is~" You sang, skipping outside while holding his hand. Of course, you were blushing a little bit, but you still went along with your plan.
"Wait, I thought we were going to wait for Sasuke and the othe-"
"Change of plans!" You said cheerily as you stopped outside a dango stand. Itachi's eyes widened. He glanced over to you.
"...Can I get some of those?"
"Sure! We can both get some." You said. "I'll pay."
"No, I will." He said, smiling. "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I made the lady pay for everything? Seriously, I swear you'll become broke if you keep going on with this." You blushed again.
"Let's get on with the dango-buying, shall we?"

In Itachi's room~~~

Itachi's eyes lingered over your dango. Darn it, he shouldn't have eaten his so fast... And you sucking on a dango shouldn't have turned him on this much... But it did. Well, you were kind of trying to do that, because you teasingly swirled your tongue around it, causing your boyfriend to look away, flustered.
"Oh Itachi~" You sang. "Thinking dirty thoughts now, are you?" He stayed silent, but you took the dango out of your mouth. "You wanna lick?" Itachi shook his head hesitantly.
"No, it's yours." He said in a strained voice.
"Neh, Itachi, you don't need to be such a gentleman... you know, I like naughty boys too..." You trailed off. You were a little disheartened by his straight face, but to your delight, you noticed that his jaw was clenched. "I wonder how your dango looks like..." And then he lost it. His lips were on yours, and you dropped your dango. Ah well, you can buy that again some other time. Your hands caressed his hair, tugging him closer. His fingers slowly clenched around your waist, while another began to unbutton your blouse...

Outside the door~~~

"Hey, Nii-san, have you seen the-"
"AH! ITACHI! FASTER!" Sasuke froze, his hands just about to open the door. Your voice was followed by laboured breathing. Sasuke didn't know what to do - Scream like a girl, tell his parents or just leave them to their... 'happy time'. But Sasuke, being the closet pervert he was, pressed his ears to the door as blood dripped down his nose.


Happy Birthday ~RouteB!!!!!

Ha ha, something kinda unserious and un-thought out. But it's for her! People, wish her happy birthday!

You (c) Itachi (lololol)
All the other characters (c) Masashi Kishimoto
Add a Comment:
galewings Featured By Owner Edited Dec 8, 2014  Professional Digital Artist

Well Itachi sure copyrighted me quickly.

The sudusive dango trick was very convincing-
//hint hint

Woman. I need more stuff like this. XD
anime2348 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014   Artist
OMG poor sasuke lol
Alaskanwolf321 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014
OMG SASUKE I THOUGHT I TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THAT!!! Just put a cup or stethoscope against the wall you'll be able to hear so much more :P
evetyran Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2014  Student General Artist
Yes indeed, it would provide better sound :D
ShyButterFlyz Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Itachi: *SHARINGAN* Sasuke....**creeper voice**

Sasuke: shit....*nosebleeds and drips on the floor* *runs*
evetyran Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Student General Artist
Efufufufu~ Totes what would happen~!
watermuffintop Featured By Owner May 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sasuke.......have you been reading them perv books?
evetyran Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Student General Artist
Yush he has. Just look for them.. under his bed~!
CiaPhantomhive12 Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014
Sasuke You Perv
evetyran Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Student General Artist
Lol, don't forget it's 'CLOSET perv', cuz he'd never admit it XD
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