Warning: Crack-ish :3
"SEMPAI!!!" Someone screamed. Normally, everyone would assume it was Tobi, but the new recruit... well, let's say that it could've been her. Someone glomped Deidara and started messing with his hair.
"[Y/N] GET OFF ME!" Deidara bellowed, obviously freaking out. You just giggled and started burying your face in his hair.
"It's so silky~" You sang, rubbing your cheek against his blonde locks.
"MY HAIR, UN! MY BEAUTIFUL ARTISTIC HAIR!" Deidara screamed. "SOMEONE GET HER OFF!" Kisame sighed and peeled you off, instantly causing you to glomp him instead. Poor soul, he didn't know what was coming.
"SUSHI-KUN!" You attacked him with a huge glomp and he yelped, trying to get you off now. But your hug was like some sort of superhuman one - he just couldn't get you off.
"ALRIGHT, TOBI!" Deidara yelled. "YOU LET [Y/N]-CHAN NEAR THE SUGAR AGAIN, DIDN'T YOU?!" Tobi giggled and skipped out.
"I won't tell you! But Tobi's a good boy, so I probably didn't~" He sang. After Kisame had successfully peeled you off, you caught a glance of Itachi sipping his coffee.
"WEASEL-KUN! GIVE ME A-" Itachi glared at you. Even without his Sharingan, you paused. You really didn't want to die yet. "Uh... never mind..." You said, edging a little away. "TOBI! NO ONE LOVES ME!! GIVE ME A FREE HUG NOW!" You shouted. Both you and Tobi glomped each other, while everyone who happened to be there (Except Itachi, who was concentrating on drinking his coffee) just plain stared. By the way, Hidan had walked in at some point.
"Why does that look just f****** wrong?" He said, staring at you dramatically crying and hugging Tobi extremely hard, while he was returning the *Cough Cough* warm gesture.
"Because you're just perverted." Itachi replied, still drinking the coffee.
"Why you little f-"
"OH LOOK! HIDAN-KUN!! I LOVE YOU!!!" You yelled. "I'M SURE TOBI LOVES YOU TOO!!"
"Er... Tobi's scared of Hidan-Sempai... you should stay awa-" Too late. Hidan was utterly glomped.
"HOLY JASHIN GET THIS F***** OFF ME!!" He screamed, flailing. Kisame shook his head sadly, but he was laughing.
"I'm not going to help him. I don't want that to happen again. Uh... Itachi-San? A little help here?"
"[Y/n], get off of Hidan."
"FINE." You pouted. "Tobi, let's go somewhere else. I wanna go do something fun." You said, dragging Tobi to your bedroom. When the door locked, Hidan, again, came in with a perverted comment. Well, almost.
"... Is it just me, or is [Y/n] gonna get-"
"It's just you." Itachi cut him off.
And guess what? Itachi was still drinking his coffee. Jeez, how big is his coffee mug?
"TOBI LET'S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!!" You squealed, attacking him with another hug.
"Okay! You first!!"
"No, you first!" You stuck your tongue out childishly
"But it's ladies first, and Tobi's a good boy." Tobi retorted.
"But I'm not a lady!"
"... FINE. I choose... uh..." Now Tobi was having a hard time, because he didn't want to be dared to steal Deidara-Sempai's underwear again. It wasn't really fun... because poor Tobi had found out that Deidara didn't wear any. "... DARE!!" He yelled. He had obviously not learned from his previous experiences.
"Huh..." You put on a thinking pose. "I... I dare you to... I DARE YOU TO-"
Deidara had decided to check up on Tobi and [Y/n], just because they can get pretty wild when [Y/n] was on a sugar high. Of course, not sexually. Seriously people, stop thinking that.
"Hey, Tobi, un, are you guys-"
"ERMAGAWD TOBI, HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS!? GO FASTER, FASTER~" Deidara froze, face pale. Wait... that didn't sound right... Deidara shook his head.
"Hey, [Y/n], what are you guys-"
"I'M... TRYING..." Deidara heard Tobi pant. Oh. Dear. C4. He burst in the room.
"TOBI AND [Y/N], YOU ARE BOTH TOO YOUNG TO HAVE SEX!" He screamed, but his face displayed utter confusion at the scene before him. First of all, they still had their clothes, and second of all, Tobi was holding a milkshake in his hands, as well as [Y/n], and empty cups were strewn across the room. "Uh... never mind, un." He said, and quickly ran out the door. He was met by a smirking Hidan.
"It's hard not to take them pervertedly. Am I f****** right?"
"I can't believe it... you drank 5 milkshakes in less than 3 minutes..." You said, wide eyed. "SO COOL!"
"So, your turn~" Tobi said.
"Huh. So [Y/n]-chan is taking the safe way?"
"So... does [Y/n]-chan have a crush on anyone in the Akatsuki?"
"Uh... well... uh..." Your face turned redder than a tomato. Now, this was a problem. At first, you didn't have a crush, because you deemed most of them to be grumpy ass-hats, but after a while, you met a certain person with an orange mask...
"So who does [Y/n]-chan like?" Tobi said, scooting closer to you.
"Uh... promise not to tell anyone, grasshopper?" You asked.
"Of course, ladybug." You didn't tell him what grasshopper was supposed to mean.
"I like... the guy... that... has... black hair."
"The other one."
"I don't think there's anyone else with black hair." Tobi said, putting his hand on his chin. You sighed, and started ruffling his hair.
"What colour is your hair?"
"Black, but- oh." Tobi got it now. "[Y/n]-chan like Tobi?"
"DUH, DERPY. Now, truth or-"
"Tobi likes [Y/n]-chan, too."
"ANYWAYS, TRUTH OR- Wait. Say that again."
"Tobi likes [Y/n]-chan, too." You pressed your face up to his mask, staring him in his eye.
"Derp." You said, blushing. "So d'you think we should-" You didn't get to complete that sentence. "MMMFFFff..." Tobi had already kissed you. His mask was twisted, covering his eyes, but his mouth was already latched upon yours. Your blush turned even deeper when you returned the kiss, but you grinned. Then Tobi parted and put on his mask properly, and skipped out. You glanced at the door in a little bit of a haze, unsure whether that was just a genjutsu of sorts. Then you jumped up on your bed and did a little victory dance.
"JUST AS PLANNED!!" You laughed, even though you knew you were lying. But then Tobi came back in and whispered in your ear in a different voice. It wasn't cute or boyish. Damn, it was manly and sexy. Made you want to hit that~
"My room, 9:00. Don't be late." He skipped back out and you turned red again.
"Tobi, what did you- TOBI STOP!! THAT'S MY SHIRT-"