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Warning: Crack-ish :3


"SEMPAI!!!" Someone screamed. Normally, everyone would assume it was Tobi, but the new recruit... well, let's say that it could've been her. Someone glomped Deidara and started messing with his hair.
"[Y/N] GET OFF ME!" Deidara bellowed, obviously freaking out. You just giggled and started burying your face in his hair.
"It's so silky~" You sang, rubbing your cheek against his blonde locks.
"MY HAIR, UN! MY BEAUTIFUL ARTISTIC HAIR!" Deidara screamed. "SOMEONE GET HER OFF!" Kisame sighed and peeled you off, instantly causing you to glomp him instead. Poor soul, he didn't know what was coming.
"SUSHI-KUN!" You attacked him with a huge glomp and he yelped, trying to get you off now. But your hug was like some sort of superhuman one - he just couldn't get you off.
"ALRIGHT, TOBI!" Deidara yelled. "YOU LET [Y/N]-CHAN NEAR THE SUGAR AGAIN, DIDN'T YOU?!" Tobi giggled and skipped out.
"I won't tell you! But Tobi's a good boy, so I probably didn't~" He sang. After Kisame had successfully peeled you off, you caught a glance of Itachi sipping his coffee.
"WEASEL-KUN! GIVE ME A-" Itachi glared at you. Even without his Sharingan, you paused. You really didn't want to die yet. "Uh... never mind..." You said, edging a little away. "TOBI! NO ONE LOVES ME!! GIVE ME A FREE HUG NOW!"  You shouted. Both you and Tobi glomped each other, while everyone who happened to be there (Except Itachi, who was concentrating on drinking his coffee) just plain stared. By the way, Hidan had walked in at some point.
"Why does that look just f****** wrong?" He said, staring at you dramatically crying and hugging Tobi extremely hard, while he was returning the *Cough Cough* warm gesture.
"Because you're just perverted." Itachi replied, still drinking the coffee.
"Why you little f-"
"OH LOOK! HIDAN-KUN!! I LOVE YOU!!!" You yelled. "I'M SURE TOBI LOVES YOU TOO!!"
"Er... Tobi's scared of Hidan-Sempai... you should stay awa-" Too late. Hidan was utterly glomped.
"HOLY JASHIN GET THIS F***** OFF ME!!" He screamed, flailing. Kisame shook his head sadly, but he was laughing.
"I'm not going to help him. I don't want that to happen again. Uh... Itachi-San? A little help here?"
"[Y/n], get off of Hidan."
"FINE." You pouted. "Tobi, let's go somewhere else. I wanna go do something fun." You said, dragging Tobi to your bedroom. When the door locked, Hidan, again, came in with a perverted comment. Well, almost.
"... Is it just me, or is [Y/n] gonna get-"
"It's just you." Itachi cut him off.

And guess what? Itachi was still drinking his coffee. Jeez, how big is his coffee mug?


"TOBI LET'S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!!" You squealed, attacking him with another hug.
"Okay! You first!!"
"No, you first!" You stuck your tongue out childishly
"But it's ladies first, and Tobi's a good boy." Tobi retorted.
"But I'm not a lady!"
"... FINE. I choose... uh..." Now Tobi was having a hard time, because he didn't want to be dared to steal Deidara-Sempai's underwear again. It wasn't really fun... because poor Tobi had found out that Deidara didn't wear any. "... DARE!!" He yelled. He had obviously not learned from his previous experiences.
"Huh..." You put on a thinking pose. "I... I dare you to... I DARE YOU TO-"

~~Meanwhile, outside~~

Deidara had decided to check up on Tobi and [Y/n], just because they can get pretty wild when [Y/n] was on a sugar high. Of course, not sexually. Seriously people, stop thinking that.
"Hey, Tobi, un, are you guys-"
"ERMAGAWD TOBI, HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS!? GO FASTER, FASTER~" Deidara froze, face pale. Wait... that didn't sound right... Deidara shook his head.
"Hey, [Y/n], what are you guys-"
"I'M... TRYING..." Deidara heard Tobi pant. Oh. Dear. C4. He burst in the room.
"TOBI AND [Y/N], YOU ARE BOTH TOO YOUNG TO HAVE SEX!" He screamed, but his face displayed utter confusion at the scene before him. First of all, they still had their clothes, and second of all, Tobi was holding a milkshake in his hands, as well as [Y/n], and empty cups were strewn across the room. "Uh... never mind, un." He said, and quickly ran out the door. He was met by a smirking Hidan.
"It's hard not to take them pervertedly. Am I f****** right?"
"Yes, un."

~~Meanwhile, inside~~
"I can't believe it... you drank 5 milkshakes in less than 3 minutes..." You said, wide eyed. "SO COOL!"
"So, your turn~" Tobi said.
"Truth."
"Huh. So [Y/n]-chan is taking the safe way?"
"YAHP."
"So... does [Y/n]-chan have a crush on anyone in the Akatsuki?"
"Uh... well... uh..." Your face turned redder than a tomato. Now, this was a problem. At first, you didn't have a crush, because you deemed most of them to be grumpy ass-hats, but after a while, you met a certain person with an orange mask...
"So who does [Y/n]-chan like?" Tobi said, scooting closer to you.
"Uh... promise not to tell anyone, grasshopper?" You asked.
"Of course, ladybug." You didn't tell him what grasshopper was supposed to mean.
"I like... the guy... that... has... black hair."
"Itachi-Sempai?"
"The other one."
"I don't think there's anyone else with black hair." Tobi said, putting his hand on his chin. You sighed, and started ruffling his hair.
"What colour is your hair?"
"Black, but- oh." Tobi got it now. "[Y/n]-chan like Tobi?"
"DUH, DERPY. Now, truth or-"
"Tobi likes [Y/n]-chan, too."
"ANYWAYS, TRUTH OR- Wait. Say that again."
"Tobi likes [Y/n]-chan, too." You pressed your face up to his mask, staring him in his eye.
"Reeaaaalllllyyyyy?"
"Really."
......
...............
..........................
"Derp." You said, blushing. "So d'you think we should-" You didn't get to complete that sentence. "MMMFFFff..." Tobi had already kissed you. His mask was twisted, covering his eyes, but his mouth was already latched upon yours. Your blush turned even deeper when you returned the kiss, but you grinned. Then Tobi parted and put on his mask properly, and skipped out. You glanced at the door in a little bit of a haze, unsure whether that was just a genjutsu of sorts. Then you jumped up on your bed and did a little victory dance.
"JUST AS PLANNED!!" You laughed, even though you knew you were lying. But then Tobi came back in and whispered in your ear in a different voice. It wasn't cute or boyish. Damn, it was manly and sexy. Made you want to hit that~
"My room, 9:00. Don't be late." He skipped back out and you turned red again.


~9:00pm~

"Tobi, what did you- TOBI STOP!! THAT'S MY SHIRT-"

......


"Mmm~"
I must say that I was inspired by a few fan fictions :D I don't have the link to them, sorry. If someone has them, please post it in the comments below.

Okay, this is dedicated to ~skeamstroke-chan because she wouldn't stop bothering me about it, ha ha~

I'm not sure whether this needs a Mature Content warning....

:iconitachiuchihaplz:: You should check with a friend.
Me: ... Still drinking that coffee?
:iconitachiuchihaplz:: Yes.

:iconcoffeeplz:

:icondeidaraplz:: ... I don't go commando, un.
Me: Oh come on, yes you do~

You (c) Yourself
The others (c) Masashi Kishimoto
Coffee (c) Whoever made it.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconshaneen07:
shaneen07 Featured By Owner 20 minutes ago  New Deviant
OMG that was so funny 
Reply
:iconhhhhoooonnnnkkkk:
HhHhOoOoNnNnKkKk Featured By Owner 59 minutes ago
"TOBI AND [Y/N], YOU ARE BOTH TOO YOUNG TO HAVE SEX!"

That slayed me, great job! X'D
Reply
:iconcasandra182:
casandra182 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015  New Deviant
I love this 😂
Reply
:iconweeaboomaster47:
WEEABOOMASTER47 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2015
*reads the story*
*gently places phone down when milkshake part happened*

*smiles as I look into nothingness*
*single tear falls*
*spirite has been crushed*
Reply
:icongalewings:
galewings Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist

/mine too man
/mine too ;;
Reply
:icongothfoxgirl:
Gothfoxgirl Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2015
Oh my god such crack! XD and that ending
Reply
:iconlegoninjagogirl:
legoninjagogirl Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015  Student General Artist
Tobi was having a hard time, because he didn't want to be dared to steal Deidara-Sempai's underwear again. It wasn't really fun... because poor Tobi had found out that Deidara didn't wear any XD thats nice to know Xp
Reply
:iconsantana642:
Santana642 Featured By Owner May 16, 2015  Student General Artist
Damn, what the f*** was in that suger lolololol
Reply
:iconweeaboomaster47:
WEEABOOMASTER47 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2015
Crack
Reply
:iconsantana642:
Santana642 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015  Student General Artist
Hahaha
Reply
:iconcec20:
Cec20 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2015
AmusiaPrussia: WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the -government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on a monday night at 12:00a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other people on this one site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't.

This isn't fake. apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes u will have the best day of ur life tomorrow. u will either get kissed or asked out, if u break this chain u will see a little dead girl in your room tonight. in 53 mins someone will say i love you or I'm sorry
Example 1: Jenny didn’t believe this and deleted it without even reading. the whole thing! A few days. later on the monday night, she was woken up by loud footsteps. and heavy breathing, there was. Clarissa standing there with a huge knif
Reply
:iconanimeloverbutt:
Animeloverbutt Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2015
You can't even write  knife correctly. LOL
Reply
:iconcrushingprison:
crushingprison Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2015
People in the surrounding rooms:
Sasori::pokerface: 
Deidara:Ew... (Fatigue emote) 
Hidan: :iconpervyhidanplz:
Reply
:iconanimegeek1235:
I love that everyone think tobi is young when he's old

And what does grasshopper mean
Reply
:iconlilleditte02:
lilleditte02 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2015
tobi
Kawaii Tobi Icon/Avatar Free To Use!  0///////0
Reply
:iconyuriisloveyuriislife:
yuriisloveyuriislife Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2015  Hobbyist Filmographer
Yes just yes
Reply
:iconneko-lucifer:
Neko-Lucifer Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2015
Dat ending tho.......😉😉😉😉😉
Reply
:iconsexforlosers:
SEXforLosers Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Student Artist
Oh my lordie... XD :') :D 0///0
Reply
:iconmaylin-15:
maylin-15 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015
Oh my~ :tehe3d: Tehe 3D 50x50 derp 
Reply
:iconhollyravenwood:
HollyRavenWood Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2015  Student Writer
Awe Tobi Icon Tobi Egg 
Reply
:iconbunnygoblin:
Bunnygoblin Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015
i would hit that~ come on who wouldnt?
Reply
:iconvaletarya:
Valetarya Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2015  Hobbyist
OMG, I just can't stop laughing :'DD Kawaii Tobi Icon/Avatar Free To Use! Glomp! I wanna glomp you, because this story is AWESOME!!!!Love 
Reply
:iconsweetgeekxd:
sweetgeekXD Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014
Itachi's cup is the cup of endless coffee yet its always unsweetened XD
Reply
:iconcheyannekat:
Cheyannekat Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
omfg yush
Reply
:iconcarmenbiat:
CarmenBiat Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2014  Student Artist
LOL 

"Toby's a good boy" 
XD
Reply
:iconstarrypelt2whitestar:
Starrypelt2Whitestar Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Nyeheheheheheh... *transforms into Akatsuki OC called Rinnae but friend with Kakashi* (OKie let's pretend the [Y/n] is someone called um... Shanari (WUUUT IT'S A NAME I CAME UP WITH IN 3 SECONDS and back to roleplay)
Rinnae: Hmm where's Tobi need to talk to him... *knocks on Itachi's door*
Itachi: Wut.
Rinnae: Where's Tobi  and Shanari can you help please. Oh wait ya just help anyway :T
Itachi: *finishes coffee* Okay so... *activates Sharingan*
Rinnae: Heh. *activates her stolen Sharingan and scans Hideout*
Itachi: I see Konan paper folding... Pein is writing a new mission or something....
Rinnae: Kakuzu counting money as always... Hidan doing a ritual...... Uh... Kisame is talking to Deidara... Zetsu is walking around again... You are here.... And.. Holy...
Itachi: What the hell... is going on in there.....
Rinnae: *teleports all over the place to tell all the members to meet outside Tobi's room*
Everyone besides Rinnae and Itachi: What? What's happening in there with Shanari and Tobi??
Rinnae: *hands strange eye drops that see through stuff and they all put it on*
Everyone/ not Rinnae: (Hidan) HOLY JASHIN! (Kakuzu) Where's my money.. oh wait.. WAIT WUT?! (Konan) *uses paper to cover her eyes* (Pein) *is already on ground* (Kisame) *uses his sword to cover his eyes* (Deidara) I KNEW it. KNEW IT! *creates a bird of clay and flies off* (Zetsu) (ol.o) *no response cept the face* (Itachi) *sighs and walks away*
Rinnae: *busts down the door and every other Akatsuki member is up seeing wut Tobi's face is liek*
Shanari: TOBI OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF TOBI OFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!
Tobi: God dangit... *transports to Kamui with Shanari before anything happens*
Rinnae: ):T Aw come on they no fun.
TO BE CONTINUED!!



I wuv making stories so much (B3
Reply
:iconthepokemonz:
ThePokemonz Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
You HAVE to create a sequel please please please ! (ノ゚0゚)ノ~
Reply
:iconbadkitty36:
Badkitty36 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Damn you have to create a sequel! That was getting intense! 
Reply
:iconevetyran:
evetyran Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student General Artist
Hee hee~ Nawwwwww I won't~ Leave it to your imaginations :D
Reply
:iconbadkitty36:
Badkitty36 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
AWWW man!
Reply
:iconshenza-monchenso:
shenza-monchenso Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
better not to, i get pretty vivid.....
Reply
:iconmimi-chanchu:
Mimi-Chanchu Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hxjdjidkabsbdjrmdkfochcbfiklsjnzirhbcxjnecjekncid
Yassssssss<3
Reply
:iconevetyran:
evetyran Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student General Artist
:D
Reply
:iconakitokiki:
AkitoKiki Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
poor mr. sushi XD. 
Reply
:iconevetyran:
evetyran Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student General Artist
Ah, I bet Kisame secretly loves them. Deep down. Deep deep deep down. Very deep down...



under the seaaaaaa~
Reply
:icongeekgurl234:
GeekGurl234 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015
This comment made my day xD
Reply
:iconxxwhiskdreamxx:
XxWhiskdreamxX Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014
XDDDDDDD
Reply
:iconakitokiki:
AkitoKiki Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
XD
Reply
:icondeidarahidantobi:
DeidaraHidanTobi Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Student Photographer
Awesome and amazing and funny as well.
Reply
:iconevetyran:
evetyran Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks!
Reply
:icondeidarahidantobi:
DeidaraHidanTobi Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student Photographer
Your welcome
Reply
:iconjinx991:
JINX991 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ZHE GLOMPS *glomps author-chan for making such a cute story* SO KAWAII I CONGRATULATE YOU~ 
Reply
:iconevetyran:
evetyran Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student General Artist
THANKSSS~
Reply
:iconjinx991:
JINX991 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
np
Reply
:iconblondefromhell:
BlondeFromHell Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014  Student General Artist
I thought thks was a just going to be a little crackish! But dear God! That was crazy! I felt hyper just reading it! Well done!
Reply
:iconevetyran:
evetyran Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student General Artist
Ha ha, thankss!!!!!
Reply
:iconblondefromhell:
BlondeFromHell Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student General Artist
:XD:
Reply
:iconsweetsassycat:
sweetsassycat Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014
sequel pleaseeeee Bunny Emoji-80 (Pretty Please) [V4]
Reply
:iconevetyran:
evetyran Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student General Artist
Lol, sorry, no, it was just meant to be a weird little... one shot... thang. :D
Reply
:iconkittygirl144:
Kittygirl144 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014
Dayum note to self never eat sugar again!
Reply
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February 24, 2013
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